You care about your team. You want to lead with clarity and kindness. But feedback? That’s where even the most well-meaning leaders get stuck. Here are three common mistakes—and what to do instead to build trust, not tension.
Giving constructive feedback is an art—and most of us are making some avoidable mistakes. Our emotional intelligence and our leadership communication get tested when we are trying to improve performance in our teams. Here are 3 common missteps that unintentionally block trust and connection, and what to do instead:
Mistake #1: Vague Offers of Help
❌ “Let me know if you need anything.”
This sounds supportive, but most people won’t take you up on it. We’re conditioned to say “I’m fine.”
✅ Try instead:
“What’s one way I can support you right now?”
or
“What’s one thing that could get in the way of you hitting that deadline?”
Specificity invites openness.
Mistake #2: Solving It for Them
❌ Jumping in with what they should do.
Even when well-intended, it can undermine autonomy and send the message, “I don’t trust you to figure this out.”
✅ Try instead:
“What ideas do you have for approaching this differently?”
or
“Would it help to brainstorm together, or do you want to come up with some ideas on your own first?”
Support agency, not dependency.
“Good leaders don’t avoid discomfort—they show up for it.”
Mistake #3: Delivering Feedback via Email or DM
❌ It’s easy, fast, and… a trust killer.
Written messages lack tone, context, and courage.
✅ Instead: Deliver feedback in real time—on camera or in person.
Being present in the hard moments builds trust. It says, “I’m with you, even when it’s uncomfortable.”
Great feedback improves performance and deepens relationships. Be brave, be clear, be human.
